Convention center concessions never win Michelin stars for their wallet extortion beer, shrink-wrapped limp lettuce sub sandwiches, blowfish-puffed chip bags, and hockey puck cookies.  Dreamforce may boast best-in-class swag, but you can’t chew on stress balls, chapstick or organic cotton socks.

Don’t hold your caffeine fix hostage to metallic coffee carafes at break-out sessions. Rebel against the stale popcorn scented, air-conditioned keynote hush.

Below is your #DF17 hit-the-street-and-stride guide to the best kept secret foodie destinations of San Francisco, all ’15 minutes or less’ footsteps from the conference epicenter.

*All distances listed are from Moscone Center.

 

FEAST

Rise and Shine

Equator Coffee & Teas   222 2nd St

10 minutes on foot*

The half-block long, terraced stadium seating cafe atrium is more than enough square footage for mansplaining and sifting through your free trade show loot. Bonus: Their cold brew acts as an emergency filibrator for hungover hearts (and minds).

Blue Bottle  66 Mint St

14 minutes on foot

Get your buzz at one of the Bay Area’s iconic coffee brands; Blue Bottle’s founder was a freelance musician who began roasting beans in a former Oakland potting shed. Sip a cup of hot midnight heaven and sink your teeth into Instagram-worthy avocado toast or an oven-mitt sized Belgian waffle.

 

Lunch Comas

La Capra   360 3rd Street    

9 minutes on foot

You won’t find any bleating she-goats at this tucked-away Italian cafe. Vegetarians salivate over the cranapple brie sandwich and marinated artichoke caprese salad. And carnivorous appetites are known to quote Don Vito Corleone after ordering the Godfather-inspired meatball hoagie.

Soma Eats   186 2nd Street

10 minutes on foot

This centrally located American lunch bistro unites an angry, divided America. Southerners go straight for the deviled egg Peppadew pepper sandwich while big city Yanks hunger for the BLT & Zataar spiced fried egg sandwich. Go ahead… ignore that opinionated a-hole screaming outside on the street and pass your lunch hour in culinary consensus bliss.  

Uno Dos Tacos   595 Market St

15 minutes on foot

Ditch Chipotle and discover this taco, burrito and salad bowl outdoor patio paradise. Braised beef tongue. Chicken tinga. Moist pork carnitas. Avalanche on the homemade salsa and smoky black bean sides for a happy mouth explosion of meat and heat.

 

Dinner Decadence

Salt House   545 Mission St.

12 minutes on foot

Starve yourself by day and per diem binge by night. The $100+ wagyu beef daily special menu entree is the ideal expense account one-night stand. In the mood for something less impulsive? The strawberry jus duck breast or roasted cherry tomato short ribs offer equal lip-licking satisfaction.

Wayfare Tavern   558 Sacramento St.

20 minutes on foot

Plan on doing twice the amount of one-legged plank push ups on your hotel room floor the morning after a meal at this manly upholstered, upscale pub. From the pillowy soft, baby-head sized bread popovers to the burrata whipped potatoes to the Best Fried Chicken in America (Food & Wine Magazine 2016), you’ll experience your very first ‘comfort food’ orgasm.

 

Cockscomb   564 Fourth St.

15 minutes on foot

Bring a mafia-sized appetite to this expert offal cookery and butchery dining destination. Wood oven suckled whole pigs head. Pine cone, apple and endive smoked duck. For those not keen on eating their childhood storybook friends, choose from an abundance of root vegetable divine and creative cruciferous dishes.

 

DRINK

You can drink your weight in liquid.  And there’s no better week than Dreamforce to win that bet.

Skip the caterpillar crawling, city block long lines to official #DF17 parties and pony up to the nearest bar.

 

Grow some chest hair: Scotch, Bourbon, Whiskey

Nihon Whiskey Bar

Bourbon & Branch

83 Proof

 

Gain some clarity: Tequila, Mezcal, Gin

Whitechapel

Mezcalito

Tommy’s

 

Bar ‘hops:  Craft beers and breweries

Mikkeller Bar

Hopwater

Crafty Fox

 

Do the twist: Fancy schmancy cocktails

Trick Dog

Pagan Idol

Local Edition

 

Whine about it: Vintage tastes

Wine Down

Salzburg

Absinthe